Rain Rain Go Away

I have always loved rain. Some may call me a borderline pluviophile. I’ve never seen the problem with Seattle or London — that is, until now. It has been raining for-ev-er. I can’t even tell you the last time I saw the sun. I believe it’s been 2 weeks.. or 3.. or 4.. but really.. what is time?

Time flies when you're having seasonal depression.

Time flies when you’re having seasonal depression.

This is someone’s idea of a sick joke. We went through the flood, had a week of sunshine and then it came back with a vengeance after Halloween. Today is the first day the sun has been out since then. I never understood seasonal depression until now. I just wanted to lay on my couch in pajamas under a blanket and do nothing. Which is good for one day.. or a weekend, but for every day.. not good. I am in some serious need of vitamin D.

Whoa.

Whoa.

The sun is actually out today and I would like to find the energy to run but work and life have just exhausted me today and I don’t really feel like it. “But Jen,” you may say “that’s when you need to go the most.” Yeah well — I need more motivation than that if I’m going to pry my butt off my couch for anything tonight other than pizza and beer. Basically, I’m failing at my goals. I just don’t have any fucks to give at this point.

Fight me.

Fight me.

I have all day off tomorrow for Veteran’s Day (thank you all for your service!!) so I will take that opportunity to get my butt outside and raise my endorphins.  I just can’t today. Ever have days like that? What do you do to get over them.

Speaking of Beyonce…. Here’s your song for the day…

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If I Could Turn Back Time..

I’d like to thank Cher for today’s blog title.

This time change is REALLY messing me up. The sun sets around here at 5:30 which doesn’t leave a lot of time to go for a run when I get off of work (confession bear: I haven’t been yet) and by the time 7 o’clock rolls around I swear it’s midnight and time for bed. My mind is confusing my body and I need it to knock it off or I’ll end up hibernating for the winter. Which doesn’t sound like a terrible idea but when I roll out of my cave in the Spring that could be terrifying.

Yes brain.. knock it off.

Yes brain.. knock it off.

To add to the dark thirty issue, it’s been rainy and dreary here for days and as I’ve  previously mentioned, I hate running in the rain. I kick water up the back of my legs and it gets all itchy and I get whiney.. it’s just terrible. I need more options to exercise (read: sweat, whine and cry) in the privacy of my own home. I’ve tried P90X (no thank you) and a lot of Jillian Michaels DVDs — but I just get bored. So I’m looking for suggestions.

Practice makes perfect? Nope.. still bored

Practice makes perfect? Nope.. still bored

On a happier note, this cutting back on the booze business is very nice. It’s nice to wake up without the room spinning or a dozen leprechauns dancing on your brain. I’m getting too old for that shit.

Whatever you say Cher. You're the boss.

Whatever you say Cher. You’re the boss.

So that’s it for today.. as always, suggestions are welcome in the comments section. Oh and here’s a new running song for you… and no, it’s not a Cher song. Surprisingly.

May Cher bless you and all of our asses look like hers at 50.

FIRST DAY OF FALL!

Yesterday we said goodbye to Summer*. So I ask you this… why is it still 10,000** degrees outside?!? Honestly.. doesn’t Mother Nature know what day it is? I hear Fall and I’m thinking.. yaaay scarves and boots and pumpkin everything.. but around here the weather is not complying to my wishes! It’s 97 degrees and at least 50% humidity.

At this rate I'll be walking around naked. It's hot and humid and just ugh.

At this rate I’ll be walking around naked. It’s hot and humid and just ugh.

Jamie is going to be very proud of me. I signed up for a race to try to get my ass back on track with training for this half. It’s just a 5k but the race is in 2 weeks. This means I need to start running regularly. This also means this heat needs to kick rocks. I don’t want to drown in my own sweat.

Seriously -- send help.

Seriously — send help. In the form of cool frosty beverages.

I’m sure you’re noticing today I’m using Spice Girls gifs. That’s because I just found out that Netflix added Spice World to its collection today!! Guess what I’ll be doing tonight? If you guessed Spicing up my Life.. you are right.

I am Posh. Posh is me. Bow down bitches.

I am Posh. Posh is me. Bow down bitches.

If you haven’t seen this cinematic masterpiece, I suggest you do so. I mean… look at these special effects!

Eat your heart out Michael Bay.

Eat your heart out Michael Bay!

That’s your homework assignment. Watch Spice World. I expect a 500 word essay on my desk by Thursday on underlying themes and symbolism. With that.. I leave you with a song I still like to run to. Enjoy.


*I have been told that Fall is not until September 23rd. I dont give a shit. Labor day means no more August which should mean no more heat. 

**rough estimate. Blogger is not good with the maths. 

What is Running?

I fell of the wagon… again. I haven’t been running in weeks. I haven’t been playing soccer either. I have been feasting like a gluttonous monster lately. This is not a good combination. At this rate they’re going to be able to tie strings to me and float me down Broadway at Thanksgiving. Macy’s.. call me.

Actual face.. not as scary. Actual boobs.. not as big.

Actual face.. not as scary. Actual boobs.. not as big.

Yesterday was my birthday! I turned 35 29 and decided to celebrate by going out for wine with my “ladies.” That’s in quotes because if you met us you would know the term ladies does not apply.

Friends if you're reading this don't even try to deny it.

Friends if you’re reading this don’t even try to deny it.

That wrapped up around 830(ish) and I wasn’t done celebrating so I had a few drinks when I got home. Why do I do this to myself? I’m not feeling too terribly rough today but I know for sure my liver is packing its shit to leave me.

Because tonight college football starts so there must be beer.

Because tonight college football starts so there must be beer.

I’m so excited college football is starting. Except for the fact that I live in the city where our rival college is located. I know I’m not supposed to say I hate people… but whoever gave me that advice never met Gamecock fans.

All except maybe 2 of you. You know who you are.

All except maybe 2 of you. You know who you are.

Worst. People. Ever. Like I get being a fan but you don’t have to be a douchebag about it. That’s enough of that. /rant

Obviously by my use of these gifs you all have noticed my secret love affair with Jersey Shore. It’s so awful but I couldn’t ever turn it off. I miss it. I think I need to evaluate my life.

I know Snooki. I'm dealing with it the best way I know how.

I know Snooki. I’m dealing with it the best way I know how.

Any tips to get me back running? Encouragement only. Threats are not welcome.

Thanks boys.

Thanks boys.

 

What the heck just happened?

I went out for a run yesterday… my normal 2(ish) mile route. Not gonna lie, there was some walking.. but somehow I was back at my house within 18 minutes. Now, to some of you who run all the time, that may not sound like a big deal. But to me.. who hardly runs anymore.. I am really confused as to how it only took me 18 minutes to complete that run. I don’t remember being chased by zombies. Was I on crack?

Only reasonable explanation.

Only reasonable explanation.

Either way, I was happy with my run. Hopefully this will keep getting easier. Practice makes perfect, right?

I have a new addiction (other than my problems with Nike and the internet) and that is.. Kind bars. WHYYYY are they so good. Ugh.. I could eat them all day long. And I do now that they have savory versions as well as sweet.

It's a good one to have.

It’s a good one to have.

I’m going to start a collection fund for my Kind habit. Please make checks payable to Jen’s Insatiable Appetite.

Speaking of Nike.. I got a sale email today. Don’t they know I don’t get paid until tomorrow? This is just torture. Someone intervene!

Until tomorrow...

Until tomorrow…

Run Now, W(h)ine Later

Along with matching soccer socks, hair ties and the remote for the stereo, I am constantly misplacing my motivation. Yesterday was a prime example of that. I got home from work wanting to go for a run and then I got distracted by other shiny things around the house (read: my pillow) and had no will to run. I knew I needed to, I just didn’t WANT to. So, I texted a friend and asked for motivation. This is what I received back…

That'll get me off of the couch every time.

Motivating technique: A++

Needless to say I got off of my ass and went for a run. The first .25 mile was spent telling myself that I needed to run and I would feel better afterwards. Then I got distracted in my music and ended up running twice the distance I intended to. I changed up my route and I think that really helped with the mindset of “if you turn left here you’ll be right back at home” that normally wins out when I go for a run. So.. now that I know that little trick, I’m gonna keep that up. Switching the routine really helped. Plus… wine.

If you add soccer this is eerily accurate.

If you add soccer this is eerily accurate.

Hopefully I’ll be able to go for another run today and hopefully I’ll think I’m running fewer miles than I actually am so I will keep pushing myself to go further. I would track my pace and distance but I don’t really care what that is as long as I don’t collapse. Priorities people. I have ’em.